In my last article, I wrote on discipline – how it can help someone live a positive life. Self love is part of discipline, as it ensures you have regard for yourself. It involves accepting oneself for who one really is. So many of us tend to live a fake life, either we are pursuing for love, for people to accept us OR love is pursuing us, we don’t like what is before use, thus choose not to accept it. In most scenarios, it’s always we trying to pursue for love and acceptance.
An old time friend I meet at the ‘mall’ days back was of the same perception. She complained of being deserted by close pals, colleagues and relatives. She’s of the opinion that no one wants to associate with her. Everyone’s avoiding her and giving excuses for their actions. This believe of hers affected almost all facets of her life, starting from her health, looks, attitude, job, everything. She believes that she can’t gain people’s love which she desperately needed. I shun at this act and assure her she can gain all by first loving herself for whom she is and being positive about life. When that’s done, she will ultimately gain others respect and every other thing will follow.
You cannot force people to love you. In a situation you struggle your way through to make people accept you while it’s not from their mind, they can oblige but it won’t last. Rather than forcing your way through, be who you are, respect your being which will eventually make people you come across to respect you. In life, self love gives you reason to live. It creates, restore or builds up your dignity. There are tremendous benefits of self love. You need to trust yourself and your abilities.
There are various ways to instill self love in our lives.
Some of these ways are:
- Show gratitude: Be grateful for the things you have. Cultivate the practice of showing gratitude for the positive and good things of life. You can do this on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. But try to be consistent with it. Bring out a jotter, book or journal and write down at list five things you’re grateful for in your life. They can include, the gift of life, being healthy, having a job or business, family, children, friends, even that unique cloth you have is something to be grateful for.Writing these things down will register some positive effects in your mind thereby making you to be grateful for things you posses thereby serving as a booster for the love you have for yourself.
- Learn to forgive: Forgiveness has the power of helping you release yourself. You’ll be relieved of burden installed as a result of negative effect of grudges you might have against others. It gives this peaceful ambiance to your mind which reflects in your person and makes you glow. Likewise, learn to forgive yourself when things go wrong. We might not have the best always, but the ability to let it go and move forward makes us better being. This in turn attract positive effects on our lives.
- Learn to see the positive things of life: I agree to the fact that so many things might not be going on well in our favour. Let’s focus on the things we have and the ones we intend to achieve. Concentrate on things that appeal to you, the things that you love and adjust your body/mind to positive emotions. They will surely give you strength and energy to love yourself and face the world.
- Associate with people that make you better: Commune with individuals that bring out the best in you. Those that see your good side not the ones that always concentrates on your negative side. Real friends surely reprimand you when you’re wrong. This is to correct you and direct your path on the right, but not to dehumanize you. Be mindful of those that make you feel bad always. They never see anything good in what you do only your negative sides, thereby depriving you of discovering the best part of you. Relate more with individuals that makes you feel good, people that inspire you, those that bring the best in you.
- Start every day with positive mindset: Daily affirmation can help you boost your self love. Profess good things to yourself. Tell your inner being that you are a great individual. No matter what happens and what is happening around you, stay positive and believe the things will surely get better. With these positive affirmations you will get to see even the most difficult situation around you in a lighter perspective. This will definitely help you coup better. You give yourself the assurance that things will be right.
- Avoid Self Comparison: Comparing yourself with others might kill the love you have for yourself. Taking your flaws and comparing them with another person’s success might make you feel like a failure. Everyone is different, so are life differences. Every person has unique life pattern peculiar to him or her. Spend time in building and nourishing your own path.
The Benefits of Self Love are numerous. They include but not limited to the following:
- Respect: If you regard and love yourself, people will respect you for whom you are. They might not love you as you cannot force others to love you but you can make them respect you. That’s the power of self love.
- Confidence: You build up your confidence because you know your worth. You know you’re unique; you are special in your own way. This makes you better in what you do; be it education, business or work/career.
- Boost your Self Esteem: Practicing self love enables you to rate yourself high, feeling worthy of your person. You can raise yourself high in public or anywhere you happen to be.
- Change your perception of life for good: When you love yourself, you see the rosy part of life. Things start reflecting in positive perspective, giving you a wholesome meaning to life.
Self love helps you become a better being. Remember, challenges are part of life but how you handle them will go a long way to determine the effect it will have on you. Will it boost your self awareness positively or decline it?
Being happy and loving your person improves your general well-being and boost your-self love. Take consistent action in the right direction of creating and building your worthy you.
Self love is what makes you unique, more appealing, more charming and more enthusiastic about life. Love yourself for who you are.