A lot has happened in our lives and society in the recent times. These situations tend to make most of us unstable in our career, business and even relationships. People are losing their jobs, divorce and relationship problems on the rise, much hunger in the society, high rate of insecurity and other life threatening issues.
We need to develop certain traits enable us remain sane and positive amidst uncertainties happening around us.
I have come to believe that we are living in a new world and society where we are bound to live with the new norm of not only taking care of ourselves but also our loved ones, the people around us , what we believe in and even the environment. We have to be vigorous, ambitious and diligent in achieving our goals. Achievement of goals do not only entail in what we gain but also in what we become at the end of the day. We need to prepare and develop certain traits that will help use live a positive life while focusing on our life mission and maintain a serene mind.
The 7 traits to build a positive life are:
- Build Self Confidence
We need more than 30% of self confidence to succeed in life. Be it in our daily communication with people, convincing or influencing them to believe in us, work practices, leadership strategies, business activities; a level of confidence is needed to actualize our goals.
Research showed that ‘the more confident a person is, the bigger the potential of achieving his or her dream’. If you are in the right career path, statistics showed that confident people climb up their ladder of success faster.
There are some healthy habits that can boost our self confidence, such as doing simple exercises like tweaking our hands, reading motivational books/articles and engaging in what inspires us.
Confidence in yourself helps you have control of your body by providing both physical and emotional stability. A certain level of confidence is needed for positive living but under or over confidence is unhealthy for individuals as it can be harmful.
Build your confidence by feeling good about yourself, knowing you did your best in a situation. The built confidence works on your psycho and pulls you through.
- Learn to Say ‘No’
Say ‘No’, to circumstances you don’t want or can’t handle conveniently. For example a colleague in the office can ask you to cover a fraud committed by a team member or to promote a less qualified employee because of personal reasons. Say ‘No’ to such things. You can say ‘No’ to shady deals practiced in businesses like using a wrong measurement or selling fake product in-place of original.
Having the ability to say ‘No’ when it’s right comes with high self esteem. People might call you names but you’ll be regarded highly with profound integrity. More so, any situation you manipulate or give more than you are bound to provide, provokes stress as you’ll have to battle with your conscience.
To prevent such anxiety, reprisal attack or even depression, learn to say ‘No’. This is obtainable by establishing your personal boundaries. Likewise, learn about persuasion techniques when you need to convince people of your action or reaction.
In a situation where you find it difficult to say an outright, ‘No’! like ‘a situation of someone very close to you like your wife or husband asking you to employ an unqualified person in a place of work and it’s against your principles’. You can say ‘I’ll think about it’. This is to buy time to think of the best way to deliver your ‘No’ response.
In carrying the act of saying ‘No’ to issues, be polite about it. Be disciplined enough to abide by your principles. Say ‘No’ when you find something unpleasing or out of your way.
- Develop Sense of Humor
Do you know that a smile makes you look more handsome or beautiful and increases your life span?
Develop a sense of humor to deal with issues that surround you as they’re part of life. Do not be too rigid on yourself. Strong people can laugh at themselves and their failures or obstacles. They use this technique to cope with the situation and be positive about things.
Sense of humor improves psychological adjustment in human brains. It lowers your depression level and reduces a person’s level of loneliness while increasing self esteem. People want to be around individuals with good sense of humor.
Don’t be offended at every slightest thing. People can go out of their way to tease you up sometimes. Learn to laugh at certain cynical things. It takes nothing out of you; instead it makes you reduce stress and makes your life positive.
- Work Hard but Don’t over Work
In a leadership summit I attended, it’s said that high performing individuals don’t overwork. They do not work harder than others but smarter. They turn off distractions and do not listen to music (though music can be a source of motivation to some), noise or any other things that can distract them and obstruct their work.
Be inspired in what you do, that will make you work smarter and better. Just the same way appetite comes with eating, that’s the same way inspiration comes with work.
Follow healthy routine habit like eating right and having enough sleep so that you won’t be distracted or feel fatigued while at work.
Working better also entails knowing what is required of you and being in good relationship with your team mates or colleagues. Learn to read people, listen to others to understand them, assimilate their perception and motives. Pay attention to their beliefs and personalities; what they are saying, where they are looking as well as the non-verbal (body) languages they communicate.
- Attract Right People
Learn and develop the ability to attract the right people. People tend to be around a particular set of individuals they believe that posses certain traits that charm them. Charming people posses’ charisma, they can smile and are perceived to devote their time to make others better.
Charming individuals are not super beings. Anyone can develop the skill by being confident in ones’ ability. You can as well develop traits like having eye contact when communicating with others, talking in a relaxed mood and engaging in the act of ‘smile’.
Charismatic people try to be on the same page with others by asking questions and understanding the other person’s point of view. Learn to maintain your personality by voicing out when someone say something you don’t agree with.
If a person opens up to you, you can open up to them. You can be rational with your decisions. Be sincere when you feel they’re sincere to you.
- Exercise Self Control
Control the reactions of your body and mind – your behavior. The act of self control helps individuals in achieving their goals as it’s a strong trait to living a positive life. It helps you maintain a balance in your relationship, career and even personal life; enabling you in gaining an inner peace as well as control of your actions and reactions.
Developing the act of self control is simple but tactical. It involves techniques like meditation, exercise, listening to inspiration speech or reading up articles (like this one you’re reading now) that motivates and life up your spirit.
Pull out from anger trigger situations.
Release anger or frustration by walking out of the situation, turning on a music, lifting up a chair; doing things that can release the tension building up in you.
Self control helps you to do the right things at the right time, making you stable, healthy and happy.
A sense of reasoning can help you caution yourself in time of decision making so as enact the needed self control.
- Develop Self Esteem
Just like in self confidence, a certain degree of self esteem is essential for effective and healthy living. Self esteem gives you a self worth as you believe in your abilities and potentials. It involves the value you place on yourself as well as value placed on your confidence.
Though self esteem is important for positive living, too much of it can make you feel like a brat while too little of it can reduce your confidence.
Develop your self esteem by holding yourself accountable for your deeds, actions and reactions.
Living a worthy life, a positive one, is all about building strong personality traits that will carry us along the journey of life. It entails us understanding who we are, our personalities, knowing how we behave differently from others so as to build confidence around ourselves and develop high esteem – having a worthy ‘we’.
You need emotional intelligence so as to understand yourself and relate well with others. In the work environment, develop a solid work ethic, stay on the task and get things done accordingly. You can disintegrate task into smaller bits to achieve better result if you feel you might lose your mind on a job. Be efficient by organizing yourself and figure out better ways of doing things to save time and money.
Develop a sense of charisma, do not always take life too seriously, learn to be flexible and adapt to situations without losing your head out.
Exercise self control in dealing with issues.
Finally, we develop ourselves every day. Learn what tense you up and try again when you fail. Failure is an opportunity to learn something new and make you better.
Application of these traits and developing the needed skills will help us in living a positive life and making us better individuals.