3 Ruins in Our Society

What is our society turning into?

Where do we go wrong?

Can we escape the trend?

Life in society has turned sour. Far gone are the culture, ethics, and moral we are known for especially in this part of the world – Africa. Things have turned zig -zag, not straight and harmonic any more.

Let us look at this experience of mine. I boarded a mini bus on my way from work yesterday. I was sitting at the back with some people while two men, a young man in his early 20s and an elderly person that should be in his early 60s were sitting just in my front. . The young man was sitting carelessly, crossing his legs in a lackadaisical way causing discomfort to the old man. The elderly man complained and requested that the young man adjust and comport himself as he’s in a public place not in his private domain.

The young man not minding the age of the elderly man and the fact that he is in an open place abused and insulted the old man, he even made an attempt to push the old man to a corner of the vehicle, claiming that the man should know his place and not disturb him. Many in the bus shun at the scene. I started to ask myself .. “what is going on in our society”? Respect has gone down the drain.

Looking at our society today, we could perceive or find some of the abnormalities turn norm that are damaging and affecting our lives as citizens. The society is in chaos with ruins.

Ruins exist in our society causing many mishaps. Among which are:

1. Disrespect

I remember that our society was known for the good culture of respecting the elderly and being of good moral especially in public places. The golden old days seems to have gone. These days, there is so much going on in our society. Most of the young people neither respect themselves nor others. Maybe because they feel they are financially better.

Disrespect behaviours are rampant in our society in the recent times. They ranges from overt acts of abuse, bad behaviour to insidious actions so embedded in our culture that they seem normal, take for instance the act of telling someone – you are stupid or gossip; that seems simple but very insulting. Generally, any behaviour that prohibits the willingness of an individual to speak up or interact with others because of expectation of unpleasant or uncomfortable outcome is regarded as act of disrespect.

Disrespect ranges from incivility, bullying, intimidation, laying of insults/abuses and other forms of unruly behaviour that have become rampant in our society. Many of them are treated lightly while excuses are made to minimize the profound devastation it leaves at its wake.

This ruin in our society called disrespect causes many harm.

Disrespectful behaviour chills communication and collaboration. It can undercuts an individual contributions towards improvement, growth or development as there can be incidence of fear, anger, shame, confusion, uncertainty, isolation, self-doubt, depression and even physical ailments like insomnia, fatigue, nausea, hypertension and others. These kinds of feelings can diminish a person’s ability to think clearly, make sound judgements and speak up regarding questions or things bothering them.

There are situations where disrespect occur due to stressful nature of environment or circumstances seen in such occurrence, as human nature also play a role in this destructive behaviour. Human beings are wired for survival and as such can function in “survival” mode when compiled to cope with difficult personal frustrations or system failures. Thus, disrespectful behaviour can be regarded as “survival” behaviour gone awry. Though it cannot be taken as an excuse, such behavioiur can trigger or create a tipping point by which an individual can be pushed over the edge into full blown disrespectful acts. Certain characteristics like insecurity, anxiety, depression, aggressiveness and narcissism can play a part in such behaviour. Cultural, generational and gender biases, or current events that influences mood, attitude and actions can as well contribute to disrespectful behaviour.

Respect one another

Disrespectful acts can be alluded by giving others a sense of privilege and status. Unfortunately, in some cases, victims of disrespectful behaviour may feel that they have no choice but to become perpetrators themselves, because they quite do not understand or know how to get around the problem, they tolerate the behaviour or simply join in the act.

2. Illicit pursuit of Wealth

In recent times, not many sought wealth through honest ways. Some youths are in a craze for quick fortune and wealth.. They prefer the chimerical and delusional, running after the ephemeral not the eternal. such prefer the pleasures of here and now, not the one for tomorrow. Such people do not believe in promoting love and peace among individuals and society but in destroying the flowers of hope. They take drugs, they kill, they plunder and they maim. Instead of embracing the magic of life, they devour, like human lions in the jungle, their fellow humans in the pursuit of the world and wealth.

These groups of individuals reside in our homes, streets, schools and colleges, Everywhere, they are there. Both old and young, boys and girls. They are not for righteousness and good conduct but of and for evil. They can be angels in the surface but devils with horns of thunder and fire in the dark.

I used to ponder and imagine on some of the wilful acts committed on regularly basis in our society. There has been incident cases of these perpetrators of crime killing their victims and removing some vital parts like eyes, nose, liver, private parts etc, to make money. Many do not even believe in dignity of labour anymore. Youngsters now engage in all kinds of illicit acts just to acquire wealth to show off.

I marvel at the rate of decadence in our society. I wonder where our conscience and morals have gone.

In recent time, I read a story in the papers of a young man who killed his girlfriend and was asked by a native doctor to sleep with the corpse for seven days to acquire wealth. He succeeded in sleeping with her dead body for 5 days and was eventually apprehended by the police as a result of neighbours calls. They were disturbed by the ooze of ordour that was coming out from the young man’s apartment. He offered N10,000,000.00 (ten million naira) to escape judgement, but was unfortunately declined. What a world!

3. Domestic Violence

Men, women and even children are dying regularly as a result of domestic violence. There has been stories and pictures of women who have been killed and molested by their husbands/partners. A lot of them suffer physical, mental, emotional and psychological damage in the hands of their perpetrators. Majority of these cases are sideline or swept under the carpet because of one influence or the other.

It is true that women are at more disadvantage in this area, that does not mean that men do not encounter such. There has been incidences of men being molested by their partners. Some of them lost their lives in the process. Some children especially the dependents can suffer from this crime. There have been cases of girls and even boys being raped by their parents. Victims of domestic violence undergo a lot of stress , some are even depressed, they undergo a lot of trauma that mostly affect their lives.

Everyone should condemn domestic violence of any kind.

Domestic violence is an act that should be condemned in totality irrespective of any reason behind the act especially if it involves human life as lives have no duplicate. Anyone that’s killed in the process is gone for ever.

There was a viral video I watched on the internet of a man that has been married for 26years with 3 grown up daughters and 2 sons threatening to send his wife to an early grave over an argument in front of his grown up daughters. He was stopped (when he went out of the room and came back with a belt to beat up the wife) by one of his daughters.

Some of the comments in the said video amused me, some saying they provoked the man, while others said the daughter should not be too outright with his father but kneel and plead with him over the mother while there are ones that said they should respect the man as he’s the head.

I marvel at some of the statements, some are true while others can be questionable. I believe that no amount of provocation will make a man to think of taking the life of another, not to talk of his own wife. Some men act based on pride and ego which always result in disaster.

People blame the evils of domestic violence on anger and lack of self control. These two can be controlled if you are discipline enough to understand and know your person.

Men, Women, Children, all have a lot of work to do in this area.

We should live lives that reflects that which we truly want for ourselves.

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